Ephesians 5:31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
When my husband and I got married in 2001, we decided to combine our checking accounts into a joint account. I have to admit, I didn’t like that very much. I enjoyed the independence of having my own account and my own money. With a joint account, he would know what I was spending and how much I was making. He never questioned me about my spending habits but having to discuss finances with him bothered me. I felt as if I was giving up part of my independence.
When I became pregnant with our first child, I always said I was going to go back to work. Being a stay-at-home mom meant losing more of my independence. I couldn’t see doing that even for my own child. As the weeks and months went on, I became more and more attached to the little baby growing inside my belly. The decision to go back to work was becoming less attractive. I knew there was no way I could ever leave her. My husband and I talked. We agreed we would do whatever was necessary, so I could stay home with her. It was not an easy decision. You see, when I was a senior in high school, I dated a guy, who seemed great, but after a year into our relationship, things changed. He never hit me, but he was verbally and mentally abusive. Once I finally got up the nerve to end it, I made a promise to myself no one would ever tell me what to do and I would never have to depend on anyone ever again. Making the decision to stay at home was going against everything I was feeling. It meant having to depend on my husband for everything. I would have to ask him for money. If he ever asked why, I would have to explain myself. I didn’t like that at all. There went the independence I had created for myself.
When my daughter was 8 months old, I was feeling very empty. How could I be feeling this way? I had a wonderful, amazing husband and a beautiful daughter. Every day I drove by Crossroads Church. Each time I saw it, I felt compelled to go. Finally I went. After a couple months of attending Crossroads, I still felt like something was missing. I felt led to speak to my pastor. That day, I gave my life to Jesus.
After being home for a couple of years, the itch for my independence came back. I still wanted to be at home with my little girl, but I wanted to help provide for her financially. My mom worked for Premier Jewelry, a Christian based business. I prayed about it and instantly felt this was what I was suppose to do to help my family. Not only would it help financially, it would provide some “me time”. As I went to sign on the dotted line, I remember very clearly a small voice telling me “ask your husband.” I thought to myself “why do I need to ask him, he won’t care.” Then once again the voice said “ask your husband.” Before signing, I told the woman I had to talk with my husband first. I went home elated. I was barely through the door before I started telling my husband about the opportunity this job would give us. I could make my own schedule. I could do as many parties a month as I wanted. It was the perfect opportunity; the perfect solution. Plus I just knew God was calling me to this business.
As my husband was sitting there listening, I could tell by the look on his face he didn’t agree. When I finished talking, the words “I don’t think this will work” came out of his mouth. I was speechless. “Why not?” I asked. His words still ring clear in my mind. “When you do something its never part-time. You will put 110% into this business. You will do as many shows as you can. Then where will that leave Kaitlynne and me? We would never see each other. No, I don’t think this is the right opportunity for you or our family.” OUCH!! Not what I wanted to hear. Not only was my heart broken, but I got angry and upset. How could he not feel my excitement and want me to take this opportunity. I went to bed mad and didn’t talk to him for a few days. After I cooled down, I sat down and prayed about the whole situation. I remember very clearly a whisper on my heart said, “you need to submit to your husband”. Suddenly I realized this whole experience was a lesson in submission. WOW! I knew God had been calling me one direction, but God knew my husband was not going to be on board. God was teaching me to communicate with my husband and submit to him as the head of our household.
Ladies, sometimes it’s not easy to step back and submit to our husbands. However, when we do, God blesses our obedience. Through obedience He strengthens our marriages and shows our husbands we respect them and their decisions.
Genesis 2:8 “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
1 Corinthians 11:3 “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
Prayer: Lord Heavenly Father, thank you for the covenant of marriage, for making us a helper to our husbands. Father remind us daily we not only have to submit to your will, but also to our husbands desires for our families. Lord you have made him the head of our families for a reason. We pray You would give him wisdom and guidance for leading our families. We pray he will seek Your will in leading us as a family. Bless our marriage, Father. In Jesus Name, Amen.