By Cortney Donelson
Romans 8:18 (NLT)
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.”
Gut-wrenching pain. I know it well. If you or anyone you know has ever suffered through infertility, then you know the heartbreak that couples who are struggling with this issue experience.
My husband and I tried to have a baby for almost four years. There were scheduled “date nights” when neither one of us was really in the mood, countless injections of hormones, hot flashes, ultrasounds, pregnancy tests, ovulation kits, test tubes, medical procedures, books, new diets, tears, and yes… many prayers. Our friends didn’t know what to say to us, and our family didn’t know how to help us. In truth, there was nothing anyone could have said or done. It really was tough. We watched in bittersweet agony as several family members and friends became pregnant and started their families.
During those years, I would wake up at 5:00 am, sit on the floor, and pray in the empty room that we had designated for our nursery. I would plead with God for pregnancy. I couldn’t understand… “God, why are You saying ‘no”?
Finally, after four long years, I relented and changed the content of my prayers. My pleas to get pregnant became prayers of “Your will be done,” and “God help me accept whatever You have planned for us.” God, ease my grief! Help me live again! After all, I was not living well at this point. I had been allowing my unmet plans and dreams darken every facet of my life. I realized I could not continue down that path.
That is precisely when I was hit by “the 2×4”. On a ten-second walk into a restaurant, God quietly whispered in my ear, “Adopt”. It was just one word. A word that had previously been so painful that I couldn’t even say it out loud had, in that moment, become God’s answer. It was then that I released my desires and grasped onto God’s will.
Seven short months later, my husband and I traveled to Rostov, Russia to bring home our precious baby boy. It was our agency’s fastest adoption process in its history. Seriously… I heard God laughing. God had to hit me with that 2×4 in His perfect timing, and I had to be obedient right there in that restaurant parking lot… or we would have missed the greatest thing in our lives. We had to trust His will rather than our own as the best course for our lives. Just writing this brings me to tears. Please hear this! Had I not suffered as much as I did for those four years, I never would have relinquished my plan for His plan. I never would have met the chubby little baby waiting for me on the other side of the world… the one who has changed my world forever! God knew this as He caught every one of my tears during that time of agony.
Romans 8:18 says, “Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.” Our trials and those painful experiences for which we agonize over now, pale in comparison to what God has in store for us in the future. There will be dark times that we just aren’t able to understand. There will be prayers answered with a “no” or “not yet”.
The purposes behind God’s plans may become evident later in our lives here on Earth, or it may be that we won’t fully understand until we are in all His glory, praising Him in His Kingdom of Heaven. Me? I think it is often both. Yet, I do know this: God’s perfect plan will be just that… perfect!
Prayer – Dear Lord, thank you for waiting patiently for me during my seasons of struggles. Thank you for listening to every cry, catching every tear, and answering every prayer. I am so grateful to have the promise of Your glory and all that You will reveal in Your time! I pray I continue to embrace my trials and know they can be blessings. You are in complete control. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!